• Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
  Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
  Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
• Teacher to little student: Jis ko sunayi na de usse English main kya kahen ge, Student: Jo marzi keh len usse konsa sunayi dena hai.
• Baby mosquito came back after its 1st flying. His dad asked him- How do you feel? He replied `It was wonderful, everyone was clapping 4 me
• Old aunties used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks and saying’ You are next’. They stopped that when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
• Yuhin mazak mazak main hum gunje hogay, Najane kon mere shampoo main VEET cream daal gaya.
• A new vacuum Salesman knocked on the door. A lady opened it. Before she could speak, the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet. Salesman: Madam, if I couldn’t clean this up with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I’ll eat all this shit! Lady: Do you need chilly sauce with it? Salesman: Why madam? Lady: Because there is no electricity in the house.
• Ek bacha rote hue “Papa ne mujhe kiss nai kiya”. Maa: “Beta ap ne ABC nahin sunayi hogi”? Beta: “To kaam wali ne konsi sunayi thi”
• Wife looks at mirror and says I am fat, ugly and horrible! Please say something nice about me. Husband: Your eyesight is good and perfect.
• Ek ameer larki ko school main gharib khandan pe essay likhne ko kaha gaya, Essay: Ek gharib khandan that, baap gharib ,maa gharib, bache gharib, khandaan main 4 naukar the woh bhee gharib, Car bhee tooti hui Accord thi, Unka gharib driver bachun ko usi tooti hui car main school chor k ata tha. Bachun k paas purane N95 mobile the. Bache hafte main 3 baar hi chicken khaate the. Ghar main sirf 4 second hand A.C the. Sara khaandan bari mushkil se aish kar raha tha.
• Whats the difference between new and old couple? The new couple sleeps lips to slips, while the old couple sleeps hips to hips.
• Ants were bathing and elephant jumped in to pool, all ants get out of water. one ant climbed on the back of the elephant all ants shouted, “Dabo dabo k maaro issay”

• A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss starts to yell at him: You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes.
  The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while. Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.
• Friends are like “Gol Gappe” Always Tasty, Lovers are like “Pizzas” Hot and spicy. Husband and wife are like “Daal chawal” No other option but good for health.
• In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: “I SPIT IN THE SOUP”.
  When he returned, he found another message on napkin: “ME, TOO”.
• Two policemen are going to work,  Shall we take a bus or walk?  Well, lets see what arrives first.

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